Feel like some parasitic flatworm humor? Me too… it’s been a long day. Take it away Captain Higgins! {D}

My take on the Evil Dead 2013 remake

Evil Dead (2013 remake) review: Where to begin? Well, you can’t remake perfection beyond the original iconic campy, gorefest movies that are Evil Dead (1981) and Evil Dead 2 (1987), so I had low expectations of this film. To try to make a “serious” film sans Ash really misses the charm of Evil Dead. That said, I marched into the theater to experience this new Book of the Dead creation in full THX Digital.

The good: What ensued was a well produced, decently acted film. The much over-hyped “tree rape” scene and claimed excessive gore was actually wasn’t really extreme at all and far less than hentai horror films I’ve seen. Still, that was about all it had going for it.

The bad: There were NO shocks, surprises or plot improvements, so what was the point. Even if you didn’t know the plot of the originals this film was very, very predictable. For me, where the film really missed the mark was that it felt like a common “possessed zombie slasher” film in the woods and not a demonic entity movie. The characters behaved stupidly, and fell into EVERY trap set and never once was there a smart decision. Likewise, in their attempt to create a some context for why everyone was in the woods made this another “therapy session” movie, like so many bad indie horror films today. This family therapy session plot device is really getting tired. Add to this the loss of trans-dimensional monsters and making it a more traditional satanic possession (including the ubiquitous association with evil witchcraft) and the film felt less surreal and original, and more caught in Judeo-Christian trappings. Sadly, Raimi’s once awesome “just above the grass” camera effect of the evil force was so polished in this film it lost being a character in and of itself. In the end, I said to myself “been there seen that” to almost every scene.

Conclusion: By the time the end credits were rolling, even though I knew there was a little final scene at the end, I had already walked out. For me, this 2013 remake of Evil Dead was a dud. It wasn’t horrible, but it brought ZERO new and improved to two classic cult films, which to me is the whole point of remaking something.

Dead gives it 2 ⚰⚰ coffins out of five. {D}

Caveat: What do I know. The good news for horror films is that this remake was a box office success (and got my $7.50 too), so like the film or not, I’m happy to see it making money and hopefully helping encourage more studios to make more horror. My only hope is new original films are made and fewer damned remakes.

This little squidling went to market. This little squidling stayed home. This little squidling went wee wee wee all the way back to the womb. 

Zoochosis Case 1: Aliens - babies are alien metaphor with parents as mindless drones done in fun gory way. {D}

My “ZA Red” hunting permit has arrived. They call me #762. I take mine salted, not cured. Sure looks good on the front fork of my dual-sport motorcycle. Crossbow and double-bladed axe are all ready.  BRAAAAIIIIINNNNNS go boom! {D}

My “ZA Red” hunting permit has arrived. They call me #762. I take mine salted, not cured. Sure looks good on the front fork of my dual-sport motorcycle. Crossbow and double-bladed axe are all ready.  BRAAAAIIIIINNNNNS go boom! {D}

NPR covers an unexpected study into the mathematical rules that explain the flow of mosh pits. Kinda cool. {D}

Good horror never dies, it just reanimates and spreads to envelope you in its warm terror.

R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps is a staple for young readers that is  responsible for introducing many to the horror genre. While I admit it was probably finding a dusty stack of Tales from the Crypt and Weird Tales comics that got me started, Jacob Hall over at Movies.com spins a good case for why a Goosebumps movie could be great for bringing in new blood, er I means fans. I concur. {D}

R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps is a staple for young readers that is  responsible for introducing many to the horror genre. While I admit it was probably finding a dusty stack of Tales from the Crypt and Weird Tales comics that got me started, Jacob Hall over at Movies.com spins a good case for why a Goosebumps movie could be great for bringing in new blood, er I means fans. I concur. {D}

U.K. horror writer legend James Herbert passed away on 3/20/2013. He’s often compared with Steven King for how influential he’s been to the genre. For writers and readers alike, he’ll be missed. Tor Books has a retrospective if you want to know more. {D}

I’m very very rusty, but here’s a quick speedpaint inspired by a stressful Winter season. Spring promises some newfound freedom and with that, some creativity! {D}

By a thread by ~Rhunyen

I’m very very rusty, but here’s a quick speedpaint inspired by a stressful Winter season. Spring promises some newfound freedom and with that, some creativity! {D}

How did Aliens: Colonial Marines go so wrong?

Holy smokes. Aliens: Colonial Marines is  one of the worst games I’ve played in 5 or so years (it even made Prototype 2 look okay). WTF did Gearbox do? I LOVE Borderlands 2 and even AVP games (flawed as they were) of the past, but A:CM just felt like something made with the Quake engine from the 1990s with almost no real story or interesting gameplay. So sad to see such great promise in the franchise go they way of Bishop and be torn in half with white vapid liquid pouring out.

My recommendation: Stay far, far away… even Alien(s) fanboys like me will find little to make it worth the few hours it takes to complete. I give it ONE, yes one ⚰ out of five. Zzzzzzz. {D}

Mmmmm…. Iron Maiden TROOPER ale! Watch Bruce’s video. Looks Eddie-licious. {D}

Mmmmm…. Iron Maiden TROOPER ale! Watch Bruce’s video. Looks Eddie-licious. {D}

I know I’m a bit late to the game, but I received a copy of The Walking Dead for PS3 containing all 5 game episodes recently I finally got a chance to play it.

All I can say is I agree with GamesRadar about giving it 5-stars. Really, it’s just a damned great game with story, characters and choices that amount to an intense experience. There are some video glitches that are annoying, but that unimportant. Just go get a copy you fricken’ zombies. {D}

Testament put on a kick-ass thrash metal show at Ace of Spades last night (2/28). Here’s just a taste of the intro to Trial by Fire with Alex Skolnick on guitar (too f*ing short I know). Sadly Overkill couldn’t make the show, but Solanum didn’t suck in the least. {D}